ADHD, Procrastination, and What You Can do About It
By Mary D. Sanford, Ph.D.
Once upon a time, near the end of sophomore year in college, my mother warned me about taking the Jersey Shore ice cream parlor job: “You? Selling ice cream? You can’t even remember to empty the dishwasher!” My older sister Stacy, who was the perfect one in the family, laughed when she heard about the ice cream job: “What a dumb idea! You’ll never save a dime. Besides, you can’t even make it to your 9 AM classes.” Even my best friend Jan tried talking me out of it. She was the responsible, neurotypical type, always worrying about the next semester, the one who finished homework before it was due.
“Sounds like a fun idea,” she said carefully, “but remember—if you don’t send in that college continuation form by July 1, you’ll be dropped from school. Sure—go sell ice cream but just don’t blow it!”
Easy, I thought, I have loads of time to take care of it plus write the essay they wanted. March turned to April and by early June I was in ice cream heaven on the Jersey Shore. I kept getting this niggling reminder in my head—send in the form! Write that essay! But there never seemed to be time to do it. Plus, I was working nonstop and suddenly had all these cool new boardwalk friends. I didn’t really understand the essay part of the requirement, but I’d figure it out. I had a lot of time left before it was due, like nearly a month, and how hard could it be?
On July 11 I finally sent in the letter, writing about how much I loved the college, hoping it was good enough, hoping it wasn’t too late. Everything’s cool, I told myself as I sweated for their reply. Just go with the flow. By July 30 I got the news, afraid to tell my parents that I was dropped from school.
Sound familiar? Procrastination. It’s one of society’s dirty little secrets, and for folks with ADHD it is silent enemy number one. Neurotypical people may struggle with procrastination but with a little bit of prodding and nagging, they inevitably complete tasks on time. But for the person struggling with ADHD, it’s not so simple. Procrastination, the act of putting off indefinitely what needs to get done, is the sticky glue pit so many neurodiverse people fall into. But by understanding how procrastination works and why we fall under its spell, we’ll be better prepared for when it strikes again.
At its core, procrastination is fear, of not being good enough, of not being perfect, of not understanding, of making yet another mistake.
Another reason why people procrastinate is a tendency to practice all-or-nothing thinking. To the neurodiverse person, tasks need to be completed perfectly and their entirety—or not at all. It is at once a struggle to be perfect and the dreaded realization that we aren’t, we can’t be. So, we stay stuck, hoping tomorrow will be better.
As with other negative behavior, procrastination has its pay-out: it keeps us from growing, from maximizing our strengths and skillsets. Its seeming power keeps us locked in self-sabotaging behavior. It keeps us stuck. It’s like greasy smudges on a pane of glass. We wipe them and it just gets worse. The inner voice says, Ah, why bother? You can do it later/ when you get around to it/ when you feel like it, and other siren songs. We end up doing what feels comfortable and easy and not what’s challenging, uncomfortable, and makes us grow.
Solutions
The only power of procrastination is the power we give the belief. Peel off the mask that tells you that you are a procrastinator. You’re not. Yes, in the past you put things off, but you are wiser now. You recognize the temptation. You’re self-aware. You are no longer duped by this ridiculous liar.
By recognizing the role fear plays in procrastinating and facing the fear, we take a giant leap forward in self-advocacy. We are in charge, not fear, not anxiety. It’s a choice we make, and we make it for us, for our own best self-care.
We plan for the worst and stick to the plan. If our boss says the project is due in one week, we start working on it right away. Confused? We seek help. If the professor tells you the project should take 16 hours, double the time, and start working on it.
Be aware of when you are gradually falling under procrastination’s seeming spell. Learn what your triggers are that get you off course, and plan ahead.
Look at the fear and kick it out of the way. Recently I had to evaluate nine faculty. I knew in my head how I would tackle this task, but I began to doubt myself and my ability. I hadn’t done this in years. Ridiculous fear slowly set in and made itself at home. Whoa. I stopped and wrote down exactly what I was afraid of. I told myself, just work on this one evaluation for 10 minutes. Do it only for 10 minutes. You can do this, I gently told myself. Just start. After 6 hours I submitted all 9 reports. My boss was delighted. So was I. Victory.
By recognizing the seeming power we give to procrastination and disarming it, we face our fears. We grow and become our own best advocates.
Choose growth.
You’re so worth it.
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