Remembering What You're Forgetting: Memory Tips for the ADHD Brain
By Mary D. Sanford, Ph.D.
Have you ever gone into a room with the intent to pick something up and remembered it 30 minutes later when you were en route to your child’s soccer practice? Remembering is a typical challenge for many neurodiverse folks. We lead complicated, chaotic lives and the sheer number of tasks we attempt to keep track of would put any neurotypical person to shame. Here is my brain chatter at 9 pm as I write this blog: do grades, revise article, do work reports, stop procrastinating, wrap baby gift, find the really good cookie recipe, oh, and also what’s a good lemon cookie recipe for Preston’s birthday and mail it, stat! Did the handyman finish? Pay the insurance bill, check in with Alicia, find the group that leads walks in December—what was her name? Frieda?, and I am so hungry…
So often we neurodiverse folks think we have to be Super Person and keep all this stuff in our heads. Since our neurotypical friends can do it all, we must be like them or at least do a good job at faking it.
But memory isn’t about faking it. It’s about intention and being intentional is an active verb. It’s deliberate.
I like the idea of intention. In fact, I am in love with it. Intention involves choice, and choice involves power and I like having choices and getting to decide something. Hmm—do I make cream puffs or microwave caramels for the neighbor’s party? Do 10 planks or eat an almond croissant?
But how do we remember intentionally? As a neurodiverse person who has upped her game by being strategic, aka being intentional, being intentionally strategic can increase our recall. The end result is more fun, with less aggravation and forgetfulness.
1. Start small.
In order to get good at something we need to practice, and to practice requires making mistakes, knowing the proverbial touchdown is just around the corner. So we start small as we intentionally practice remembering things. How small? Try starting with 2 tasks from a to-do list and build up from there.
Let’s suppose you have to get a birthday card and buy bleach. You recognize you can get a birthday card, a good one, at Dollar Tree and pick up bleach there on the same run. How can you remember? Well, could you mentally picture a card with a bottle of bleach on the cover? Or, maybe you’re an auditory or a visual learner who learns best by seeing or talking. Try creating a quick jingle or rhyme to link the two tasks.
For example, there was a lovely bath products store in Seattle called The Soapbox on University Way in Seattle. I really loved the store, but I could never remember if it was located on the left-hand or the right-hand side of the street. Plus parking is always a major hassle here. Do I go left? Arrghh, a one-way street! Then one day I turned the corner and Wham! On the movie marquee was advertised the comedy “Soap Dish” and two doors down was The Soapbox. Instant recall.
2. Choose how you will remember these items.
Are you a visual learner? Do you doodle to remember? Think of the author-illustrator Dave Pilkey, creator of the “Captain Underpants” books and a member of our neurodiverse tribe. He capitalized on his strengths ( drawing and humor) and utilized them to help him succeed. He’s an international success all because he used his learning strength!
3. Once you learn something, practice visualizing and associating it with something else.
Be intentional. Deliberately look for patterns and practice working with them. You didn’t get good at the multiplication tables without practice, and the same holds true when you need to remember something. For example, I recently rented a storage locker that required an 8-item code to open the security gate. It was annoying because I could not remember this code which had numbers and symbols. Finally, Eureka! I noticed that there was a pattern in the code. I intentionally closed my eyes and deliberately pictured that pattern in my head. I associated it with something else. I now had that code tattooed on my brain.
4. Write. It. Down.
Yep. Be intentional with this one, too. If I am running errands, I make a circle on a Post-It note so I know where I need to go first second, third, etc. I want to be efficient, save gas, and not have to retrace my steps. I might brainstorm where I need to shop first, star the priorities, rewrite the list in order of priorities, and even make a sketch like a mini mind map.
5. Make a mind map.
Mind mapping is so incredibly helpful. Grab a sheet of paper, put your topic in the center, and, beginning on the left, add sticks in a clockwise fashion as if you were creating a child’s drawing of a sun. Each stick on the sun is an idea you plan to share. You can add smaller sticks for supporting details. But don’t write out sentences. See if you can capture each key idea with a simple sketch, a symbol, or 2-3 key words. Be deliberate in what you choose. Key idea-make it meaningful to you.
6. Use color.
Some of my ADHD clients successfully enhance their memory and recall by intentionally using color. They deliberately choose colors that have meaning to them. Color helps them form meaningful associations and super glues recall.
It’s certainly hard to remember all of the myriad dizzying details of our lives. But being intentional and deliberate can make our lives easier, more enjoyable, and yes, even fun!
We provide ADHD coaching, therapy, parent coaching, and other support services for people of all ages with ADHD.