ADHD and Empathy: A Double-Edged Sword
“People with ADD often have a special feel for life, a way of seeing right into the heart of matters, while others have to reason their way along methodically.”
- Dr. Edward Hallowell
In one of his recent TikTok videos, Dr. Hallowell discusses how people with ADHD are often extra sensitive in nature. He talks about how this capacity for deep feelings is a double-edged sword.
On the one hand, being a highly sensitive person means you’re more empathetic and in tune with people’s feelings. On the other hand, it can mean you feel a deep sense of sadness and rejection when you think that you’ve let others down.
@drhallowell High sensitivity and empathy, a two-edged sword of #adhd #adhdwomen #empath #rejection #sensitive #neurodiverse
♬ original sound - Dr Ned Hallowell
ADHD and Empathy
The upside of being a person who feels so deeply, with such a high capacity for empathy, is that you’re often the best friend/parent/sibling/colleague, etc. that a person can have. You can read people well and understand what they’re feeling even before they express it.
The ability to listen and relate to the feelings of others is a true gift in relationships of all types. Whether you’re helping your child through their first-day-of-school nerves or cheering on a colleague before their big presentation, to be an empathetic person is to be a good friend. This is one of the many gifts of having an ADHD brain, and it should be celebrated!
What is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?
For some people with ADHD, however, the deep emotional responses they feel in relationships can also manifest as intense sadness when they perceive rejection. When experienced at certain levels, this phenomenon is known as Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.
Additude Magazine describes it this way:
“Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is extreme emotional sensitivity and pain triggered by the perception that a person has been rejected or criticized by important people in their life…
Rejection sensitivity is hard to tease apart. Often, people can’t find the words to describe its pain. They say it’s intense, awful, terrible, overwhelming. It is always triggered by the perceived or real loss of approval, love, or respect.”
In another TikTok video on the subject, Dr. Hallowell urges his audience to recognize that their perceived rejections are often not real. In many cases, it’s one’s vivid imagination that has conjured up feelings of rejection, when in reality those feelings are completely unfounded. In other words, the rejection isn’t even real.
For people with RSD, emotions are powerful and swift. The sudden shift in moods is overwhelming, and can often lead to a misdiagnosis of mood disorders. However, as awareness of RSD grows, more therapists and mental health practitioners are able to identify symptoms in their patients and provide support.
Treatment for RSD includes therapy and medication. For some, simply knowing that what they’ve experienced has a name—and that they are not alone—helps greatly.
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