ADHD and Advocacy: Speaking Up for What You Need to Succeed
By Grace Friedman, ADHD Coach
Learning how to speak up for yourself and advocate for your needs is a crucial skill for those with ADHD. Yet this skill isn’t as easy as it seems.
For a lot of folks with ADHD, like myself, it can be hard to accept that our brains and bodies work in different ways compared to others and that these differences impact both our strengths and limitations. Acknowledging that we all have areas of weakness that we would like to improve is the first step toward figuring out which skills we need to strengthen. Identifying what we need to be successful and speaking up for ourselves to those who can help is game-changing.
Identifying and addressing our additional needs helps remove obstacles and creates a clearer path to success. It’s like a free throw in basketball—you have the court to yourself, no one is blocking you, and you have plenty of time to prepare. For those of us with ADHD, learning to speak up for what we need is especially important because often we need a little extra support.
If you’re hesitant to ask for help because everyone else seems to be doing fine, consider another sports metaphor: What if a soccer player needs help with their defense but is too afraid to tell their coach because the rest of the team doesn’t need help? Even if the rest of the team doesn’t require additional support, shouldn’t the one player still speak up for what they need? Absolutely. Not only will this approach strengthen the individual player, but also the team as a whole.
Just like this soccer player, we all have strengths and weaknesses. What may seem challenging to us—say, taking notes and listening to a teacher’s lecture at the same time—may come easily for others. However, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t speak up for ourselves and ask for help. This not only helps us succeed but also reflects our drive and commitment, traits that every teacher, coach, employer, spouse, etc. can appreciate.
Advocating for myself is a skill I learned after I was diagnosed with ADHD. I learned to speak up about many things I needed help with, for example, politely asking someone to turn their music down while I was studying, or asking my teacher for notes before class lecture starts.
Here are some suggestions for how to practice advocating for yourself in situations in which you may need some support.
Identify what you want help on and/ or what is your concern.
Identify who can help you. Who do you feel comfortable asking for help?
Connect with them and discuss when they are available to chat.
State what you’d like to accomplish to this person and listen to their feedback
Make an agreement, a compromise, or a plan to tackle the challenge
Circle back with them for extra support
If you’re struggling with something at work, in school, at home, or in your relationships, don’t be afraid to speak up. You’ll never know what support is available—and how game-changing it might be—until you ask!
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