Keeping Kids Connected During the Pandemic (Even w/ Social Skills Challenges)
By Catherine Mutti-Driscoll, MA, PhD, CALC
Keeping in touch with friends can be tricky for everyone due to the pandemic and social distancing right now. On top of that, many people with ADHD struggle with social challenges as a result of executive functioning. I know that many of us parents with neurodiverse kids are wondering: How can we support our kids in being successful socially right now?
While no solution will be perfect in this imperfect time, there are some possibilities that can be tried. By reflecting on the following questions, you can learn about your child’s social needs/preferences and help promote successful playdates. If you don’t know the answers to these questions, you can ask your child and see if they know :-)
Question 1: How does your child best communicate?
If your child communicates best in writing, then email, chat, and even old snail mail letters can be great! My son just received a letter in the mail the other day and it was awesome. Postcards are a good snail mail option too and children may enjoy decorating blank postcards (I found some on etsy.com) as a way to further express their creativity….
Does your child prefer verbal socializing? If so, consider using an app like Marco Polo that can allow a child to record a video message that a friend can watch and respond to.
Question 2: Does your child prefer to socialize while doing some sort of activity and/or prefer some kind of clear structure when interacting?
If so, consider video chat or phone calls with friends while your child plays games online (https://playingcards.io/ is a free website), video games, or even some hands-on games like Battleship can work quite well if both children have the game!
Other options include watching a movie together (there are “movie watching parties” on Netflix and other video streaming services) or considering hosting a video book club if your child shares reading interests with friends.
Another way to structure a phone call or video chat is by having a show and tell of sorts. Neurodiverse children frequently have special collections/interests that they can share with others during Zoom or video chat calls. This can help with providing an easy topic to talk about (especially if the listener shares those interests to help!)
If a scheduled call will have a structure and your child finds that difficult or anxiety provoking, consider brainstorming questions that the child could bring up in conversation. You can even practice with your child by doing some role play to make social skills more visual and fun!
Question 3: Does your child like to make, give or receive gifts?
Perhaps your children could create a care package of sorts for friends and you could deliver it curbside delivery! I love curbside delivery, so others might too :-)
Question 4: Does your child love to be outdoors and see people in person?
If so, you can integrate this option to the extent that it feels comfortable to you and the people you are meeting up with. If all agree, wear masks and hand sanitizer and get ready to have some socially distanced fun at your favorite park or hiking trail!
If you have the means, you can get a backyard heater and canopy to make hanging out outside more comfortable. Once you have a nice space set up outside, the possibilities are endless (only constrained by whatever you and your guests feel comfortable with). I have always thought that an outdoor movie night would be a great option….
I hope that you have come up with some new ideas about how you might encourage your child to stay connected. I wish you the best of luck in experimenting with what works for your child socially in this pandemic. As always, in any parenting endeavor these days: When in doubt, give yourself grace :-)
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