How To ✨Actually✨ Enjoy Time Off When You Have ADHD
By Catherine Mutti-Driscoll, ADHD Coach
If you have ADHD and struggle with weekends, evenings, and breaks, you are not alone. I began having this experience when I was a child, struggling to feel motivated or know what to do with myself during breaks from school. In contrast, attending appointments, class, or social events were much easier for me. I didn’t understand why I was this way (it would be years before I was diagnosed with ADHD), and so I frequently felt shame about my inability to follow through on my personal goals. Worst of all, I felt socially uncool: “Who isn’t excited for a break, a weekend, or a vacation?” I thought.
Now I understand that weekends, breaks, and vacations are extremely unstructured, open ended, not to mention that distractions from family members frequently abound. The possibilities of what to do during free time are extensive and it can be overwhelming to prioritize, choose, make a plan and then implement it (all executive function challenges for many of us!). Another difficulty is that many of us are exhausted by the time the breaks arrive but at the same time want to feel good (craving the kind of stimulation and support that more often comes from structured work or school environments). For many of us, this lack of structure during free times leads to challenges with focus, motivation, and ability to relax.
So what’s an ADHD brain to do? How do we manage this bottleneck of challenges and needs that come home to roost when we have time off?
First, prioritize your own interests to the extent that you can to stimulate your ADHD brain (we do live with others and need to compromise sometimes...just make sure it isn’t all the time!). If you’re not sure what interests you or frequently remember, check out this video by Jessica McCabe and get started on creating a menu of options that you can regularly enjoy!
Second, be creative in seeking external support for your personal interests and goals.
Can’t get motivated on your hobbies, personal projects, or chores? Try using focusmate.com to partner up with someone who has a task they also want to do. You can book last minute, bring your task(s), and work side by side with someone else over a video call. I have found this tool to be amazingly inexpensive and massively productive!
Can you buddy up with other people (even family members) to help you towards your goals? Last weekend, I desired to get organized with food for the week and for the second week of camp. However, I lacked motivation and energy. To combat this, I asked my husband to make a meal plan and a grocery list with me.
Is there a long-term personal passion project or creative project that you want to make headway on? You could assemble a support team via email and send them your work on regular deadlines that they hold you accountable for. You can keep the commitment low by telling your friends/family they don’t have to do much besides cheer you on when you meet a deadline! For example, I’ve started writing a book and am sending chapters to a group of friends who opted in to be part of my low-maintenance support team. So far I have sent them a chapter each week and that is two more chapters than I’ve ever written before! :-)
Lastly, don’t lose hope. We can find ways to enjoy our downtime, even with ADHD. It won’t be perfect, but with the right tools and mindsets, we can absolutely boost our satisfaction, productivity, and relaxation during our time off!
We provide coaching, therapy, parent coaching, and other support for families impacted by ADHD.