Navigating the Pandemic with Grace
How to Use Mindfulness & Acceptance to Move Beyond Survival Mode
By Catherine Mutti-Driscoll, MA, PhD, CALC
Things are tough right now. At first, coping with the pandemic may have been an interesting challenge for some of our ADHD brains. We may have learned new insights about ourselves as we began responding to emergency situations, thriving in an environment of urgency, intensity, and newness. As the pandemic soldiers on, however, now we are tested more fully; the flurry of activity we expended at the onset of the pandemic is difficult to sustain. Now this marathon demands internal motivation, consistency, persistence, self care, and regulation—challenges for our ADHD brains and nervous systems. What can we do to persevere in the face of a much longer disruption than we were planning for, one that may continue on for an indeterminate amount of time?
While listening to a recent audiobook, Radical Compassion by Tara Brach, I found her practice of RAIN to be quite helpful for the current challenges that many of us are facing. RAIN stands for recognize, accept, investigate, and nurture (Brach has changed the N from non-identification to nurture).
Recognize & Accept
As Brach instructs, we can recognize our possible feelings of uncertainty, loss, and dislike of this new situation, and we can accept things as they are (Brach instructs us to say “yes” to the challenges we face even though our instinct is to resist and push them away!). We can notice when it is difficult for us to accept our feelings and strive to accept that too. We can recognize that thriving in the pandemic likely requires a new set of habits, routines, and strategies that will take time and effort to figure out. This fact will likely bring up annoyance, irritation, and resistance at times. We can recognize those feelings, accepting them as normal and to be expected aspects of living through a time of intense change.
Investigate
After recognizing and accepting things as they are (including our feelings), we can then investigate why this situation and these feelings are so painful for us. For some of us, we might miss the guidance and security that external structure and social accountability had provided. We might miss the cues from others about what we should do and when. We also might miss how we understood the old rules for success, even if we hadn’t felt able to achieve those all the time.
Nurture
After investigating our feelings about the current circumstances, we can ask, “What do I most need at this moment?” As Brach instructs, we can imagine a nurturing older version of ourselves telling us that it will turn out okay and that we will get through this time. While many of us are experiencing loss at this time, there is also the opportunity to reconnect with our personal values and our most authentic selves. We can ask, what do I need right now? What is important to me in this new and uncertain context? Who do I want to be in this changed world?
Taking time to consider these tough questions and making small, do-able actions based on the answers can move us closer to thriving rather than just surviving. These questions can be scary, but you don’t have to go it alone. You can ask for help and support along the way. As Edward (Ned) Hallowell encourages us, “Never worry alone.” Even though some of us feel isolated during this historical moment, the fact remains that many of us are struggling with similar challenges. Connecting with ourselves (through self-reflection exercises like RAIN) and with each other are excellent strategies for navigating this pandemic with grace.
Catherine is an ADHD coach, supporting our Seattle, Kirkland, and Palo Alto offices.