Hey Parents, Set Monthly (Not Yearly) Goals
By Beth Miller, M.Ed., PCI Certified Parent Coach®
How are you doing with your new year’s resolutions? Are you falling short of your plans to create new habits? As the calendar turns to April, does it seem as though the same frustrations and desires exist, yet little has changed? If this resonates with you – you are not alone! And all is not lost!
Parents are running in many directions and working to keep all cylinders cranking. We often plan to set new intentions and create new habits in the new year. We are earnest in our hopes.
I am going to be more patient with my kids.
I am going to prepare healthier meals.
I am going to do three virtual workouts each week.
I am going to organize the coat closet (the junk drawer, the kids’ toys…)
If you set intentions like these and are falling short, it is not too late to create positive change. Rather than feeling like a failure and throwing in the towel, think of the new month as an opportunity to focus on one goal, just for this month. Break down your intentions and plan to work on one new habit for one month, rather than for the full year. This approach makes it easier to achieve your goals.
Be clear about your monthly goal. My goal for this month was organization. I wrote a list of the four areas of my home that needed organization. I wrote the mantra “You are organized” on Post-it notes and placed them in various spots in my home. I tackled one spot at a time and crossed it off my list once the organization (or at least improvement) was completed. When thoughts of other needs came flooding in, (You should be more patient with your family! You should work out more!) I replaced the should with a reminder that those were goals for a future month.
My intention for next month is patience. My action steps to foster greater patience include breathing deeply and practicing yoga three times a week. And again – a visual reminder is key for me, so the word patience is sprinkled throughout my home.
It is also helpful to honor and celebrate the moments when your intentions come to life. When I walk into my organized laundry area I give myself a mental pat on the back. When I am more patient with my son, I mentally note my accomplishment and soak in how this feels. It is human nature to notice the negative input, we have to work harder to notice and honor the positive moments. These micro celebrations help further our successes and bolster our intentions.
What change would you like to make this month? Can you sum it up in one word? Can you think of a few action steps you can take each day to see your intention come to life? Give it a try!
Beth Miller is a Certified Parent Coach who supports families dealing with the challenges of ADHD.
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